


you are a body i can hold

by steambend



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Background Mac/Desi at the beginning, Domestic Drabbles, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Set some time after 4x07, short and sweet, they really care about each other guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-23 11:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steambend/pseuds/steambend
Summary: She’d really been enjoying her time at Mac’s place. It was nice to get to know some of the more domestic aspects of the larger than life government agent. Like, for example, Mac was a religious flosser. At least twice a day, and sometimes three or four. He fell asleep during movies, he ate ice cream for breakfast, and he was not an early riser if he didn’t have to be.Most of all, Riley couldn’t help but notice how touchy Mac was.
Relationships: Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 351





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't...particularly like this. But there will be two or three parts so hopefully I can round it up nicely.
> 
> These are just drabbles, no solid plot.

The smell of smoke in Mac’s house didn’t alarm Riley as much as it probably should’ve. In fact, watching Mac run from a room waving the smoke from his face had become something of a commonality in Riley’s short time staying there.

“Sorry,” Mac coughed slightly, a chuckle bubbling from his lips, “Experiment gone wrong.”

Riley couldn’t help the flutter in her stomach at his boyish grin, and she lowered her laptop screen, “What happened this time?”

“Well I accidentally mixed some of my oxidising agents with–”

“You know what?” Riley interrupted, a slight smirk touching her lips, “Forget I asked.”

Mac’s grin grew, “Right.”

Lowering her gaze, Riley mindlessly looked back to her laptop screen, unable to keep eye contact.

She’d really been enjoying her time at Mac’s place. It was nice to get to know some of the more domestic aspects of the larger than life government agent. Like, for example, Mac was a religious flosser. At least twice a day, and sometimes three or four. He fell asleep during movies, he ate ice cream for breakfast, and he was not an early riser if he didn’t have to be.

Most of all, Riley couldn’t help but notice how _touchy_ Mac was. It was probably just because he was starting to feel more comfortable around her. But somehow his hand was always on her elbow, her shoulder, the base of her spine. Somehow, he always knew when she was feeling down, and his arms were around her, or he was rubbing his hand soothingly along her own arm. Not that she minded. She knew he was just being his friendly self.

But it was a _lot_. She was only just coming to terms with the fact that she was starting to feel something for Mac, and he was making it hard to deal with the idea that nothing would come of it. After all, he and Desi were trying to make it work again. She didn’t want to ruin that by spouting out feelings she didn’t fully understand herself.

Dealing with it was her only option. After all, it wasn’t a crime to give Mac a hug or two. There was no law to say she couldn’t enjoy it when he grabbed her hands to dance like crazy to his favourite song. If along the way her heart felt like it might jump out of her chest, that was her business and not his.

“What are you thinking about?” she barely noticed Mac move to the seat beside her on the couch. He bumped his shoulder against hers, a soft smile on his lips and an even softer look in his eyes. She might’ve melted.

Clearing her throat, she conjured the most convincing grin she could muster, “Thinking about how I’m going to kick your ass in Mario Kart right about now.”

“Oh, you’re on,” the grin was back, and so were her butterflies.

“If you’re as bad at this as you are at ski ball, I don’t think it’s going to be much of a challenge.”

He leaned closer, a twinkle in his eye, ready to accept the challenge, when his phone buzzed.

“To be continued,” was his playful response, as he reached for his pocket to retrieve his phone.

Riley caught the flash of Desi’s name on the Caller ID screen, and discreetly glanced at Mac’s expression. If she were anyone else, she probably wouldn’t have noticed his attitude slightly deflating. She tried not to read too much into it, but she couldn’t help but wonder what it could mean.

“I just have to take this,” he half smiled, “I’ll be quick. Don’t start without me.”

“No promises.”

She watched him leave feeling a little concerned. After all, that was not the expected reaction of a man supposedly in a happy relationship. She heard a hushed argument and tried her hardest not to listen in on the conversation. It was none of her business after all.

She instead busied herself with setting up the Nintendo Switch. When Mac came back, he no longer had the devastatingly handsome grin set on his features. He just looked tired.

Frowning, Riley slowed her movements, “Everything okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” Mac rubbed a hand over his face, “Just, uh, Desi’s worried.”

“Worried?” Riley’s frown deepened, “Is she okay?”

“It’s stupid.”

Riley rose from her crouched position, unsure whether she should reach out to him or stay put, “But it’s clearly bothering you. You can talk to me, you know that.”

Something of a genuine smile touched his lips before it dropped again. “Yeah, I know. I guess Desi is worried about...well, _you_.”

“Me?” Riley’s eyes narrowed, “Aubrey broke up with me weeks ago. I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“Not because of Aubrey. It’s because of us.”

“Us? What about us?”

“She thinks we’re getting…” Mac rubbed his neck, a clear sign he was uncomfortable, “I don’t know. She thinks we’re too comfortable with each other.”

Riley let out a short laugh, “Well, of course. You’re my best friend, Mac.”

It crushed her a little to say, but it had to be said. She would _not_ be the reason Mac’s relationship ended. And they really were best friends. It wasn’t Mac’s fault that she wanted more.

“Yeah,” Mac murmured, and Riley might be projecting, but it almost felt as if Mac didn’t believe it. His eyes locked with hers, and his hands fidgeted as if he wanted to fix something but couldn’t think how. Riley felt heat creep to the tops of her ears as his gaze relentlessly locked on her, but she didn’t look away. Finally, he said, “Desi’s imagining things.”

Clearing her throat, and not brave enough to respond to _that_ statement, Riley turned her attention back to the console, “Well, I set this thing up, so…”

Mac seemed to brighten as he said, “You didn’t think I’d forget those outrageous claims you made about beating me, did you?”

“Those outrageously _true_ claims, you mean?” she grinned over her shoulder, glad the tense air between them had lifted.

She felt Mac come up from behind her and reach past her waist to steal the controller from her hand, only pausing to whisper in her ear, “We’ll see about that.”

Hot breath fanned against the shell of her ear, and Riley’s heart stuttered before almost coming to a complete stop. She didn’t know what came over her as she gripped the fabric against his chest, pulling him gently in and whispering, “I guess we will.”

A bad idea, is what that was, an outrageously bad idea. She wanted to let him go, but her hand wouldn't cooperate with her brain and she could see him so clearly from this position and he was _so_ gorgeous in this light and what were they doing again?

It was in that moment Riley _really_ knew she was projecting when he leaned forward ever more, now only inches away from her face. Her throat instantly dried. She licked her lips and god she must’ve been _delusional_ because Mac’s eyes flicked down to watch, his eyes darkening, pupils dilating. Was he somehow even closer than before?

The Mario Kart theme music blared as the home screen finally loaded, and Riley was shocked out of her stupor. Goose bumps continued to prick her skin as she shot up from her position, laughing nervously and making for the couch where her laptop sat abandoned. In an awkward cadence, she spluttered, “Well, let’s get this show on the road.”

She watched Mac take a deep breath, blinking rapidly, before making his way to the couch as well. He deliberately left some space between them. She placed her hand in the gap and she thought she saw his own hand twitch towards hers before he instead used it to run a hand through his hair. Clearing his throat, he said, “Let’s do it.”

It almost felt like Riley had forgotten how to breathe.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying up late coding or eliminating minor cyber threats was a new norm in Riley’s nighttime routine. It wasn’t that she couldn’t sleep. It was that she knew someone else had been having trouble with it lately – that someone being her housemate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after 4x08
> 
> This is more of a Hurt/Comfort chapter so I hope y'all weren't looking for pure fluff. But...realisations are made.
> 
> I just want to say that I don't particularly like James...but I know that Mac obviously loves his dad so I hope my own opinions didn't taint the story too badly. I tried to tone down my distaste as much as possible. (Really, though, James was the worst father.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Staying up late coding or eliminating minor cyber threats was a new norm in Riley’s nighttime routine. It wasn’t that she couldn’t sleep. It was that she knew someone else had been having trouble with it lately – that someone being her housemate.

It was understandable. Their last mission was a traumatising one, and Riley was still winding her mind around the fact that Oversight was dead. She couldn’t even imagine how Mac felt.

If there was one thing Riley had bonded with Mac over that was unique to everyone else on the squad, it was their shared daddy issues. They understood what it felt like to be abandoned, to be second best, to be ignored in favour of some other person or activity. And, they supported the other's endeavours to begin again, to start over, to try and restore the relationship.

But death was the one thing Riley couldn’t relate to, and it was gnawing at her.

So, Riley did the one thing she could do. She stayed up late and listened after Mac. If she noticed him make his way to the kitchen, she would get up under the pretence of grabbing a midnight snack so he wouldn’t have to be alone. If it sounded like he was working on something to take his mind off the situation, she left food and water by his door.

It was the least she could do.

A shuffle from the room next door interrupted her daydream. Riley sat up slightly, listening for what Mac would do. Footsteps sounded as he made his way to the kitchen, as well as a glass clang as he popped the top off a beer bottle.

Wanting to delay her arrival so it didn’t seem as if she was waiting for him, Riley mussed her hair a little, pulled her sweater off her shoulder and rubbed at the makeup around her eyes. Anything to make her story believable enough for him not to comment on it, even though she knew he wasn’t stupid enough to buy the fact that she just so happened to want a midnight snack _every time_ he left his room or work space.

When she caught sight of him sitting dejectedly on his couch, she pretended to stifle a yawn. She nodded his way, lazily opening the fridge. “Oh, hey, Mac. I’m just–”

“Grabbing a midnight snack?” Mac interrupted disbelievingly, taking a swig from his beer.

She pulled her hand out the fridge, and then leaned against the cool metal of the now closed compartment. She lifted a shoulder in a noncommittal shrug, and offhandedly commented, “I’m checking up on you because I’ve noticed you haven’t been sleeping much. You still have to take care of yourself, Mac.”

Mac scoffed, “Like I took care of my dad?”

Riley frowned and made for the seat beside her friend, “Mac, you can’t blame yourself for that.”

He took another angry swig, and she noticed his free hand clenching with tension. Taking a risk, she brushed her thumb over his fist, “Hey. Listen to me. This was _not_ your fault, and your dad would not want you thinking it was.”

She loosened the bottle from his hand and placed it on the coffee table, watching his expression as she moved. The anger etched onto his face broke away to sorrow, his eyebrows scrunching in pain as he gripped his hair with his now free hand.

“I don’t know _what_ he would want. I didn’t talk to him for _months_ before he… I should’ve _tried_ , I should’ve reconnected. But I just felt so much resentment. I was so stupid.”

“Don’t say that. Your feelings were _valid_ , Mac. Your dad didn’t reach out either, remember? But that’s not what matters. This isn’t about who’s at fault.”

She reached her arms around his frame, resting her chin on his shoulder so she could still see him, “What matters is that your dad loved you, and he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for something that you had no power over. Okay?”

She felt tears drip onto her forearm, and she tightened her grip around his shoulders. She hated seeing him like this. She wished she could take his pain away, she wished she could replace it with happiness, she wished she had the power to bring his dad back.

But she couldn’t do any of those things. So, she just continued to hug him, stroking his arm the same way he would always do to her in the beginning stages of her breakup with Aubrey. The same way that comforted her so much, the same way she loved so much.

It struck her then, as Mac turned in her embrace and wrapped his own arms around her waist, weeping into her shoulder and gripping the back of her sweater like his balance depended on her presence. It struck her then, as he turned his head into her neck and breathed her in like a lifeline. It struck her then, as he sunk into her hold as if there was no other place he could bear to be.

It struck her then, that she was in love with Mac.

She was so desperately in love with this man that she couldn’t bear the pain he was suffering with. This was why it hurt her so much, this was why she couldn’t let him be, this was why she felt obligated to shoulder his hurt. Because her heart was pleading with her to do it, and she felt some of the weight in her stomach lift with the revelation.

They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for a long time, long after her shirt was no longer damp with Mac’s tears and long after his heart wrenching sobs had subsided.

It was only when the harsh beams of daylight flooded into the room that Riley realised, somewhat foggily, that she had fallen asleep. Correction, _they_ had fallen asleep. Together. In each other’s arms.

Somehow, they had moved to a horizontal position, with Riley on her back and Mac’s head resting between her shoulder and chest. Their legs were tangled, and Riley noticed that his grip around her waist had not loosened, despite their new position.

Feeling relieved he had finally slept, Riley allowed herself to gently scrape her fingers through his scalp. The frown on his lip lessened slightly, so she continued to do it, hoping it was soothing in some way.

Eventually it was enough to awaken Mac, but she didn’t stop. Squinting into the harsh light, he hummed, tightening his hold on her. She offered a small smile, her body warming at the contented noise. It felt so good to see him pull any expression _other_ than pure emotional agony.

“Hey,” she whispered, fingers skipping over his cheekbone to caress his cheek, “Feeling a bit better?”

“No,” he replied honestly, his eyes wide with sincerity and another emotion that Riley couldn’t place, “But it was nice to wake up and not be alone.”

Her breath was quick to catch at the statement, especially when one of his hands brushed along her waist as it pulled out from underneath her. Covering her hand on his cheek with his own, his eyes brightened, and she didn’t know what to make of it.

It took Mac sweeping his thumb against the back of her hand for her to take action, and she slid out from under him, ignoring the slight disappointment she thought she saw within the blue of his irises. Clearing her throat, and rubbing her arms free of goose bumps, she strode into the kitchen. Picking up the nearest pan, she announced, “I think we deserve pancakes today.”

Mac simply watched her from the couch, as if he could figure her out by observing long enough. It was unnerving, but anything was better than the mournful Mac of yesterday. He took a deep breath before dropping the bomb, “I broke up with Desi this week.”

Riley froze, a million questions swirling in her mind, with only one managing to escape her lips, “Why?”

To say she was surprised would be a lie. Mac had expressly said in Germany that he didn’t feel they were right for each other, that they didn’t work outside of missions. But for him to take action was something Riley was not expecting. He seemed to want to keep the Desi boat steady, not capsize their entire relationship.

He frowned, searching for an answer. “I told you why. In Germany, what I said… I meant it. It just took my dad dying–” he winced at that, “–for me to realise that I had to start being honest with myself. I wasn’t happy with Desi. So, I ended it.”

Almost impressed, Riley could barely stutter out, “How did she take it?”

“Surprisingly well,” Mac laughed in a self-deprecating manner, “I guess she expected it would happen sooner or later. We were just clinging to familiarity. I was cowering away from what I really want.”

His eyes locked with hers at that statement, and Riley felt as though her heart would leap from her chest if Mac asked it to. She didn’t know how he expected her to react, but all she could do was watch as he rose from his seat in the living room and made his way over to her position.

He rested his hand on her lower back as he reached past her for the flour, and every inch of her skin flushed on contact, immediately reacting to his attention. He smiled softly, maybe a little smugly, and she could barely register that it was completely unnecessary for him to be _this_ close – his kitchen was huge.

Having just admitted her love for Mac to herself meant this situation was putting her brain into overdrive. He had just admitted he broke up with his ex because she was blocking him from something else that he _wanted_. He then proceeded to look pointedly at Riley. What was Mac trying to say? Was he saying he wanted _her_?

But, at the same time, Riley knew he was grieving, and she did _not_ want to take advantage of his vulnerable state. He could be saying things that he didn’t mean, _suggesting_ things he didn’t mean, because he was upset, or because he felt alone. He even said as much only minutes earlier.

So, instead of gratifying the conversation, she deflected. “You look less tired Mac. I think that rest did you good.”

He moved his lingering hand away from her back, opting to rest his hip on the counter beside her. Reaching for her hand and entwining their fingers, he responded, “Thank you, Riley. For everything. I’m so glad you’re here.”

She squeezed his fingers before pulling her hand from his and turning back to the abandoned pan on the stove. She tried to ignore his insistent gaze on her as she made them breakfast.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was moments like these that really solidified her love for Mac. Moments where he was just content to be with his friends – his family. Moments that didn’t really seem significant, but still filled her entire being with utter giddiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the final instalment in this little domestic drabble I've been writing. I hope the ending is satisfying enough for you all, I really love it, which is rare for me to admit about my own work.
> 
> I just want to say that I really appreciate all the lovely comments I've gotten from you guys! They've really pushed me to smash these parts out for you guys, and it always makes me so giddy when you guys tell me you wish this was how canon MacRiley was (same, ladies, same), because it's such a compliment to me as a writer. Thank you, thank you!
> 
> This chapter will be set sometime after Codex is taken down, so I know that isn't technically canon yet, but it's way in the future of current events this season.
> 
> Enjoy!

Mac looked happy. His cheeks were warm, his dimple could be seen, his shoulders weren’t tense, and his laugh was ringing through the house. In fact, it was the happiest Riley had seen him in months. Over something so menial as well – Bozer trying to open a can of soda with his feet.

Riley couldn’t remember how this situation came about, who challenged Bozer or what he could even stand to gain from it, but she was grateful for the reaction it elicited from Mac. He was slowly starting to grow into his old self again. His grief was still present, but it seemed he was able to take his mind off it for longer periods.

Leaning her head in her hand, she tried to surreptitiously glance at Mac, but lately it seemed they were attuned to each other, and he almost immediately caught her gaze. Grinning and rolling her eyes at their friend’s antics, she felt her heart soar as Mac’s eyes softened at their interaction.

It was moments like these that really solidified her love for Mac. Moments where he was just content to be with his friends – his family. Moments that didn’t really seem significant, but still filled her entire being with utter giddiness.

“Man, I can’t do it,” Bozer admitted, defeated.

“Was there ever any doubt?” Desi snorted, taking a sip from her water.

Shaking his head slightly, a chuckle bubbling from his lips, Mac grabbed the soda can from Bozer’s feet, “I am going to dispose of this before some poor soul drinks from it.”

As he walked away, Bozer managed to get in a short, “Hey!”

Lowering her voice, Desi leaned closer to Riley, and with a knowing tone said about Mac, “Go check up on him.”

Riley could be nothing but grateful for Desi. In the past months, despite their breakup, she’d learned to be patient with and supportive of Mac in a way that Riley didn’t think she would’ve achieved if they’d continued their relationship. The group had really pulled together, with Desi of all people being the emotional guidance of the group.

Riley had vented on more than one occasion to their appointed bodyguard, and she found Desi’s advice, while rough around the edges, was generally exactly what you needed to hear instead of what you _wanted_ to hear.

Riley had told Desi about her feelings for Mac maybe a month before that day, albeit tentatively. She just wanted Desi to be aware, wanted her to come to terms with it and not feel blindsided by it. Not that Riley was planning to make a move. But, surprisingly, Desi only smiled fondly, and somewhat mockingly, replying with a short, “I know. So, what are you going to do about it?”

Shocked and stuttering, Riley guessed she should’ve known. Not much could get passed Desi. She was a bit like Cage in that respect.

With that in mind, and Desi urging her to check up on Mac, Riley did exactly that.

Poking her head into the living space, she saw Mac stood still. He was looking at the framed picture Desi had placed on the TV counter maybe a few weeks ago. The picture was of Mac and his dad, some mechanical part in hand, grease and goofy smiles all over their faces. It was a nice picture, and for once Mac seemed to be cherishing its presence rather than wincing at the sight of it.

Padding her way to the spot beside him, Riley smiled a little at the sight of it. Mac sighed, and with some effort pronounced, “I love this picture.”

Now directing her smile at the man beside her rather than the man in the picture, Riley affirmed, “Me too. It’s a good memory.”

He quickly glanced at her face before resting his gaze at his fidgeting hands. Where were those paperclips when you needed them?

“I wanted to thank you.”

Startled, and a little confused, Riley chuckled and scratched her hand, “For what?”

With a slight frown, Mac dragged his gaze to meet hers, “I really lost myself for a while there. But you were always by my side. You never gave up on me. You always saw the good in me. It’s more than I deserved.”

“ _Of course,_ you deserved my support,” Riley tutted, hating that Mac still seemed to sell himself short, “Mac, you’re not a bad person. Codex and Gwen were using your grief to manipulate you. But you were able to refocus, you came back from that dark patch by yourself.”

“ _You_ were the one to refocus me.”

A brief smile passed between them, and she lightly punched his shoulder, “What are friends for?”

A pause. Mac’s frown deepened, and Riley immediately felt she had said the wrong thing. A sluggish weight bound her heart, pressing and pulling.

Softly, almost hesitantly, Mac repeated, “Friends? Just friends?”

“Yeah,” Riley conceded, but her breath had left her, and the noise sounded less like her voice and more like a croak.

She hated the way the light between them seemed to dull at her response, and something bubbled within her, heating and spewing almost like it would scathe her if she didn’t let it out. So she took this one moment of boldness and ran with it. Who knew when she’d feel it again?

“Or…not.”

“Or not?” Mac seemed to perk, but guardedly, waiting for an explanation.

Riley could feel her wildly beating heart _thump_ , _thump_ , thumping as she tried to gather the words. Was she really about to admit what she’d held back from admitting for so long? Her words seemed to cling to her throat, and so she did the next best thing and reached for his hand, latching her little finger around his. It was small, but it was _something_ , and she hoped he got the meaning.

It seemed that Mac could only stare at the contact between them for more time than was comfortable. She watched him swallow and blink rapidly, steeling himself for something. Then, in a breath that was almost too fast to catch, “Can I kiss you?”

She froze. Blinked. Felt her heart rate increase until she almost thought she’d go into overdrive. Sighed, “ _Please_ kiss me.”

A grin broke out across his face, and she couldn’t help reciprocating as he cupped both of her cheeks and pulled her to him. And it was a clash of lips and teeth because they really couldn’t stop smiling until eventually, they found a rhythm and Riley thought she’d never break away.

His kiss was tender and gentle, but she felt so much _passion_ and so much _relief_ because they had waited so long for what they both clearly wanted. Her knees felt weak, she was almost shaking with satisfaction that she couldn’t help gripping the front of his shirt.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only really minutes, they pulled away to breathe. Riley felt her face flush at the adoration present in Mac’s eyes. She licked her lips, savouring his taste. Heat pooled at the base of her stomach as Mac intensely watched the action the way she loved so much. She blurted, “I love you.”

He grinned widely, brushing the tops of her cheeks with his thumbs, and she couldn’t help buzzing with warmth and happiness. Kissing her nose, her chin, and then her slightly swollen lips once more, Mac murmured lowly, “I love you, too.”

“And it’s about time you admitted it.”

Both Riley and Mac ripped apart from the other in shock and took stock of Matty standing at the front door, looking into the living area. An unimpressed expression coloured her features, before a genuine smile broke out, “Congrats, guys. I’m happy for you. But maybe next time wait until _all_ of your guests have arrived before sneaking off for your love fest.”

Trying to splutter excuses for themselves, Riley and Mac could only watch as Matty rolled her eyes and made her way to the patio outside. There was no doubt the entire group would be informed of what the two were up to, and both of their faces burned brilliantly at the realisation.

“I’m so embarrassed,” Riley whined, burying her face into Mac’s chest where she could feel his laughter at the situation reverberating.

“I’m not,” Mac admitted once his laugh died down, easing her face out of hiding, and sliding his hand into her hair.

She pressed a kiss to his palm, revelling in the carefree touches she could now openly display without fear of revealing her true feelings.

She could only hopelessly hum in delight as he wrapped her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. And for the first time, she was entirely grateful that Mac was just so damn _touchy_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my socials if you're so inclined:
> 
> \- twitter @thorsthirl  
> _ tumblr @steambend / @jvitzu

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my socials if you're so inclined:
> 
> \- twitter @thorsthirl  
> \- tumblr @steambend


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